Monday, October 26, 2015

Holla at ya girl

Here comes another humble brag - why, oh why, do people think it's appropriate to creep on you in a grocery store? This past weekend I got home from a work trip, slapped on some sweatpants, clawed out my contact, and ran to Kroger to get some frozen dinners and apples. The way I feel about apples is the way other people feel about guac at Chipotle:

So I am minding my own business walking toward produce and I hear this guy say "hey" but I keep walking. I hear it again "hey"... nope keep walking, don't acknowledge.  Then I arrive at mecca - aka the display of Honeycrips (see guac reference above, I'm flush with extra cash from a week of thrifty eating... mmmmmmmm) and obviously am cornered.  Then I hear it again "hey... so I've been watching you since you walked in..." UMMM what? That is instantly a horrible way to start a conversation. I'm already deer in headlights looking around for other people in case I need to yell stranger danger. And no, I'm not above making a scene in public.  Come to think of it, this is probably why I should wear a safety whistle at all times. ALL TIMES....  Anyway, thus begins another conversation similar to the one with the Coke delivery man: no, thanks I'm not interested, yes it's obviously because I'm seeing someone otherwise I'd be falling all over myself at your display of charm and wit.  Bleh, get over yourself. (And yes, I realize that applies to me and I'm not above a super market pick up, buuuutttt hopefully in a less creepy way)

On a totally unrelated note, I need to share a nail polish life hack.  Whenever I'm trying to give my nails a break from gel or just feeling thrifty and don't want to pay $15 for a mani that will chip within 24 hours (let's be real, I can't even make it 24 minutes between buckling a seatbelt and maneuvering door keys) I do an at home polish.  I usually go with pretty bold nail choices (bright pinks in summer, dark colors in fall), but given a professional work event, I had to go with light pink/nude polish.  And of course whenever I do this at home it ends up streaky.  Fun fact - a google search of "streaky nude polish" did not return a bunch of naked eastern europeans like I feared, but instead a wealth of nail hacks.  Mainly this: apply one coat of polish, one coat of matte top coat, then another coat of polish, and finish with your fav top coat.  I have a hate-hate relationship with Seche Vite since I always seems to chip within a day even if it does dry quickly. But I can personally attest that this works, since I'm sporting a super great mani.  I mean, since I did it at home, it will probably only last a day or two, but I'm still pumped.

Finally, let me just end with this, since I died laughing:

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