And another fun fact I discovered while Google image searching this kid: he looks like a tiny Johnny Manziel. I also had to Google Johnny Manziel to make sure he is, in fact, Johnny Football as I had suspected and he is a child. Seriously, he was born in the 90s, so it's entire possible these yahoos are related. You're welcome.
Now getting back on track - my talking to myself is more like a running dialogue detailing my daily activities and interactions. I'm sure you've all heard that statistic that women use 20,000 words in a day and men only use 7,000. Fun fact, jury is out on whether this is junk science. WHAT?! I'm making a skeptical shocked face over here - full eyebrow is in effect. But I'm pretty sure this is true, at least in my case.
I've recently had a few instances where this has gotten weird. Take my last trip to the grocery store. I'm cruising down the last aisle (dairy, obviously), grab my favorite yogurt, and am headed toward check out when I see that glorious yellow sale flag beckoning me back to the cheese section. This is what follows:
Inner Monologue: Oh hello! What's that you say? Sargento balanced breaks are on sale?!
Outer Monologue: Ohh... well you're definitely coming home with me!!
I then proceed to grab two containers and turn around and run directly into a gentleman standing behind me. Yup, definitely some random stranger who heard me announce something is coming home with me. It's unclear whether he thought I meant him, was on some sort of phantom unseen bluetooth, or was just insane, but none of the options are stellar for me.
And for those of you who are still stuck on Sargento Balanced Breaks - trust me, they are genius. Little packages of cheese and nuts and dried fruit. My favorites is purple, followed by blue and yellow but never green. Never Green. And since that is pretty much unintelligible, the containers are color coded by the type of cheese and nut. Purple is white cheddar with almonds and cranberries - yay!! Green is pepperjack with peanuts and raisins - bleh. Get on board, you won't regret it.