Saturday, January 9, 2016

Fun With Strangers

You all know my friend game is strong.  And sadly by this I don't mean with my actual friends, but making friends with strangers.  Or strangers befriending me.  My entire life is one long stranger danger ad.

I'm at FedEx today waiting to mail a package and the guy behind me starts chatting me up:
Him: Oh, that's a great coat.
Me: (wearing a J.Crew red lady day coat) Oh, thanks.
Him: I mean, if that was my coat, I'd put some gold fleece on it.
Me: (silently thinking is this some sort of variation on Brooks Brothers, like Ralph Lauren Purple Label?)  Oh really?
Him: Yeah (grabbing my coat to show me where) I'd put it all along the inside lapel and then I'd put on some gold buttons.
Me: (oh my god, he's touching me, he's touching me! Also, I'd look like a Beatle...) Oh, so is that what you do?  Are you a tailor?
Him: Oh no, I just think it would add some foxy shazam.  Maybe I'd add my name across the back (touching across my shoulders to show me where)
Me: Hmm well this is kind an old coat, so I'm probably not gonna add anything to it...
Him: Yeah... I'd paint one of my guitars to match... Maybe I should get a coat like that....
Me: ....

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