You all know my friend game is strong. And sadly by this I don't mean with my actual friends, but making friends with strangers. Or strangers befriending me. My entire life is one long stranger danger ad.
I'm at FedEx today waiting to mail a package and the guy behind me starts chatting me up:
Him: Oh, that's a great coat.
Me: (wearing a J.Crew red lady day coat) Oh, thanks.
Him: I mean, if that was my coat, I'd put some gold fleece on it.
Me: (silently thinking is this some sort of variation on Brooks Brothers, like Ralph Lauren Purple Label?) Oh really?
Him: Yeah (grabbing my coat to show me where) I'd put it all along the inside lapel and then I'd put on some gold buttons.
Me: (oh my god, he's touching me, he's touching me! Also, I'd look like a Beatle...) Oh, so is that what you do? Are you a tailor?
Him: Oh no, I just think it would add some foxy shazam. Maybe I'd add my name across the back (touching across my shoulders to show me where)
Me: Hmm well this is kind an old coat, so I'm probably not gonna add anything to it...
Him: Yeah... I'd paint one of my guitars to match... Maybe I should get a coat like that....