Saturday, March 19, 2016

The internet giveth, the internet taketh away

This week the internet was both my executioner and salvation.

First: I reached the ends of the internet as it comes to dating.  Exhibit A:
I would leave this without comment but SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F?!?! Did anyone know this was even possible?! It's not like I have ridiculous settings of men at least 5'8 but less than 6'4, stable income as verified by 3 years tax returns, born under the sign of the dragon preferably with a fall birthday, and within a 3 mile radius.  Don't worry, I checked and those specifications aren't possible.  Hello coders, time to get to work! But seriously, I give up.

And yet, where did I turn in the depths of a crisis? The interwebs. Now, let me back this up, the crisis was of an adulting type - I couldn't figure out how to close an ironing board.  Yup, you read that one correctly.  I was staying at a hotel with the old school ironing boards from the 1970s and couldn't figure out how to put it back in the armoire. 

Real talk, I have a portable ironing board from college that I've used max 8 times and it doesn't stand up, it's like 8 inches off the floor.  This behemoth is like 3 feet off the floor and locked.  For a minute I debated leaving it that way for housekeeping to put away, but that's kind of a dick move (I'm sure people do that all the time, but please, it's already their job to clean up after me, I don't need to make it any worse).  Instead I found a lovely YouTube tutorial that 1) made me feel better since there were a ton of them so clearly it's not a problem unique to me and 2) the guy laughingly refers to them as ironing boards circa 1939.  He's not wrong. 

That is all.

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