Saturday, July 16, 2016

I haven't had any particularly awkward encounters as of late (WHAT?!) but no worries, I'm sure they're sure to resume shortly, so instead you get a compilation of random observations from this week:

1) Earlier this week I rode the elevator with a guy who smelled like a combination of weed and fruit roll ups.  Not like fruity hookah, legitimately like week and fruit roll ups.  And per this uber appropriate meme I found, this might be a thing.  Very strange but now I've been craving fruit roll ups all week.

2) I watched a marathon of The First 48 (we can address that later) but hearing the police refer to Natty Ice as Natural Ice was very disconcerting.

3) I was getting some work done at Panera, enjoying a cup of tea and sitting outside.  Yes, I realize I am likely the ONLY person sitting outside in 90 degree heat drinking hot tea, but lay off.  I don't need your side eye right now.  Anyway, being the classy establishment that it is, Panera has both heaters and fans on its patio.  So I'm minding my own business (again, total lies) and I'm listening to the two kids sitting behind me - a high school couple.  This joker, bless is heart, is convinced the heaters are on and goes around checking all three heaters by standing on chairs and putting his hand up to them.   The heaters were not on, as evidenced by the lack of orange glow and OBVIOUS lack of piping hot heat emanating from them.  He did, however, proceed to tell every table the heaters were on and forced his girlfriend to move inside.  What a buzzkill, I hope she dumped him.  

4) I thought I had a serious adulting moment earlier this week upon realizing that 1) it was July 11th which 2) means that's free slurpee day at 7-11 followed by 3) I don't know where the nearest 7-11 is.  ADULTING WIN. I was then crushed to learn the reason I don't know where the nearest 7-11 is, is because there are no 7-11s in the state of Georgia.  How can I continue to live in such a state?! TBD

5) Let's bookend this with another elevator encounter.  I never take the elevators in the parking garage since they scary me and I don't park that far up.  Thus, every time I take the stairs and consider it a healthy exercise move.  When I walked out the other day there was a guy waiting for the elevator in jeans, boots, a white tee shirt, and a silk vest. I AM NOT KIDDING.

This unfortunately photo was tagged on a Pinterest board entitled "Great menswear looks I <3" Whoever controls this board has clearly been hanging out with the elevator guy from #1 because this is only a great look if you are under the influence of an illegal substance. You sir, are wrong.


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