Sunday, August 14, 2016

Gym Weirdness

I spent pretty much every night this week glued to my tv watching the Olympics (because you know, I'm a true American) which meant my only human interactions were work and the gym.  And it wouldn't be a trip without some weirdness. And mine was all gym related.
It started on Day 1.  I'm crusin' on the elliptical when this guy gets on the treadmill next to me and I watch him struggle for a few seconds.  Now, this treadmill has been broken for... oh... 6 months minimum, but trying to give the hotel the benefit of the doubt and not knowing if they might have fixed it, I gave him a minute to see if it was user error or the machine. It was the machine. I then ever so nicely take out an earbud to let him know it's broken.  Thanks are exchanged, he moves on to a different machine, and I think nothing of it.  Until that night at the bar, when he sees me and comes over to thank me again and ask me to come sit and grab a drink with him. I politely refuse and go watch the Olympics. #america

Then the next day the same guy is trolling me at the gym.  And by trolling, I mean walking back and forth in front of the gym door looking at me every 3-5 minutes.  And trying to not be uppity, I considered whether he was checking out what equipment was free, what was taken, if it was too crowded, if it was too empty, but it was a nice balance of empty without being just me in there, so overall just a little odd.  But then he did it again the next day and it ratcheted up the weirdness scale from a little bit odd to full on odd.  And then the clincher - that next night at the bar I see him and his friends and one of them comes up to me "Oh hey, I heard you're that girl that let such and such know the treadmill was broken."  Well yes, I was and now I think this whole thing is very odd.  I have become the legendary treadmill whisperer and feature of guy's night out stories.  And that falls off the weirdness/oddity scale into the land of sadness.

Little did I know I would have appreciated the company of the subtle creeper when I encountered the total creeper later that week.
Like most narrow, slightly depressing gym hotels, this one is configured with cardio equipment facing a wall with some TVs and the weights and mirrors directly behind the cardio.  So I'm on the elliptical with two other people in the gym, a girl on the treadmill and a guy doing some free weights. The girl leaves about 5 minutes into my workout and then I realize I can't see the guy in the gym either.  Not weird until I realize he has moved to stand DIRECTLY BEHIND ME.
Now this just straight up creeps me out.  I'm not sure if I'm being irrational or not (I probably am) but I still maintain it's weird for him to be standing in the only place I can't see him.  My proverbial gym blindspot.  Because in my mind, all I could think is that he's going to come up and conk me on the back of the head with one of those weights and drag me out of there and I wouldn't even see it coming.  And I'm sure he probably didn't realize the full implications of him standing behind me and was likely just the average creeper joe who was staring at my butt in the mirror, but still, give a girl some breathing room!!  I was so creeped out that I had to cut the cardio short, move to a separate part of the gym, and then start the miscellaneous calisthenics portion of my "routine" while giving him the not even close to being subtle stink eye.  I use the word "routine" hear very loosely since I have a directive from my trainer of things to do while on the road, of which I accomplish approximately half.  This is not a humble brag, just a sad fact of my life.  As such, it's entirely possible he confused my stink eye with an expression of misery due to my lack of physical fitness, but I'm pretty sure at least I made an impression.
*Note to a specific reader that does not watch the Olympics, you won't get this picture and why it's absolutely perfect, but it is. Trust me.


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